dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
