Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize