party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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