WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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