my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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