i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize