Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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