it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
