I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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