i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
