sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
