I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
