I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
