hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
