Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
