'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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