I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
