47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
