I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
