Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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