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• (317): View more from Indiana

  it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.

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• (310): View more from California

  Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  That's some kind of record drunk there...

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge

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• (315): View more from New York

  We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.

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