So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
