any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
