So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
