why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
