well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
