After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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