he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
