so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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