Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
