come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
