YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
