He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
