But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if i can run in heels then i can drive
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
