I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
