If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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