my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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