Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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