You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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