I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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