I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize