My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
