is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
