I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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