Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So squirting runs in the family.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize