Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
