More tranny stories later!
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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