waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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