That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
