Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize