sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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