I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
