he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
