Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
