No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize