yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
