just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
