how can u be prego again
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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