Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
