plz talk dirty to me
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
