Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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