batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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