On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
birth control should be required to get into college
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
