Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
