But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
