I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just google imaged poop.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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