I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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